A Hiccup in Justice

Written By: Tipsy Table - Sep• 08•14

If you happen to awake early morning to a blaring TV, and we who are older do that regularly, you will almost certainly have caught Kevin Trudeau, the infamous Dream Maker. With his comely looks, boyish enthusiasm, and eagerness to share insider secrets for just a small pittance, he seems anything but a guy who has already served his country and justice behind bars for fraud.   He has pitched everything from secret health cures to self help to weight loss, and even some kind of powerful club, an inner sanctum of global wealth and conspiracies that anyone can join on just retirement income. If you caught him over a period of several years, you might have noticed that he went from off-the-rack suits and a Supercut hairdo, to tailor-made threads, haircuts that cost as much as those of Wall Street traders, a jaunty hat that equals a monthly Social Security check, and a lavish and opulent Saville Road topcoat. Something is going right with The Dream and it’s not just his weight loss.

Trudeau 4jpgLast year, we were surprised to hear that a federal judge wants him in jail for failure to pay a whopping $37 million judgement for simply misleading a few thousand or more consumers of his dream. Kevin, leaning on his stylish umbrella on a street in Zurich–where he has a home and lovely young wife– simply speaks of his contempt for ambush journalism and confidently says he has no assets and cannot pay such a ridiculous judgement. He isn’t so jaunty now, losing the game to the judge and now serving ten year in federal prison in Alabama.

Well, here is the thing, and we hope this surprises everyone, coming from this law and order part of the country. We need to get a sense of humor. Why throw this guy into the slammer when he has one of the best and most authentic unreality shows on television and he pays for it. If some of us didn’t want to get rich without working or to lose weight the easy way, neither of which has much chance of success, Kevin and his dream machine would just fade away.

And, there is another thing: what about his revelation of the easy, cheap, foolproof cure for hiccups?  Yes, if you have tried everything else, you will value his little giveaway while he trumpeted a book full of health secrets he wanted to pedal. Over the years, we have had the occasional hiccups, most often from injudicious ingestion of alcoholic beverages (or for Pinky a spoonful of all-natural peanut butter).  Once they hit, we have found them hard to shed. None of the foolproof remedies worked, and we got impatient with spilling water on a shirt while drinking on the outside of a glass or jumping up and down on the back patio, or holding our breath until blue. Just ease over to the cabinet, take out the balsamic vinegar (which is also damn tasty) take a small swig, swallow, and within seconds NO HICCUPS.  In most cases, one can get back to serious drinking immediately with no further problem. This was a throw-away secret by Kevin on one of his shows that pitched a book of secret health remedies that doctors and druggists and the federal government did not want you to know about. Well, it worked the first time and every time for us, and for every friend who we relayed the information.

So, the federal judge got heavy with Trudeau, finding that the dream maker grossly misled his customers and the government. It appears to us that this judge has never had the hiccups. If he does confront this most terrible of social setbacks, we would suggest he toss back some balsamic and reflect on his abuse of Trudeau.

We say “Leave the Dream Maker Alone.” Anyone out there interested in a FREE TRUDEAU movement? We could run him for Congress where hiccups are a constant nuisance.

 

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