So What, Emmy?

Written By: Tipsy Table - Sep• 02•14

Simpson Emmy cAlthough there is annual controversy around the competing categories of shows, a series versus a made-for-television movie, or some overly aggressive promotion, we have not noticed much ranting about the real weakness of this blockbuster show, the boring and insincere remarks by those voted an award. To use the favorite phrase from the 2013 show, here is a shout out to the Emmys. FORGET IT NEXT YEAR AND EVER AGAIN, ENOUGH ALREADY. This is such a dreary, long journey with celebs trying to act sincere and failing while giving a shout out to husband and children for an award that probably should have gone to another nominee. Many of us have never seen these shows, or at least all of the competing shows, and few have a passing interest in the hundreds of folks enumerated during the broadcast.  Leave the spouse, number 3 or 4 or whatever, out of the speech as he or she had little to do with the performance; please leave out the children who you seldom see and are watching with the nanny and would rather be watching Katy Perry or someone else we never heard of. In fact, forget the third grade teacher who helped overcome stage fright or dyslexia or gender confusion to spark a career. We all know that the last time a teacher showed such interest in a student, she had to serve years in prison before marrying him.

These are all fairly rich people trying to preen and at the same time be down home, and it is a clumsy affair. As for the battle of the master of ceremonies, who cares? After the 2013 dusty opening about emcee competition, the affair was 25 minutes late after only 30 minutes. The Colonel was 25 minutes lost after 25 minutes. There was one recipient, and we use that term in the proud sense of a Medal of Honor recognition, who just said “Thank You” and strolled offstage. It was shocking and returned us to thinking about the self-indulgent behavior of these remarkably awful shows. Whoever that lady was, bring her back for another award. She made the real statement of the night.

Actually, the history of the Emmy’s statuette is far more fascinating than the Emmy’s award show and any of its recipients. We never really see one up close, so let us apprise you that after television engineer Louis McManus’ 47 designs were rejected, the statuette of a winged woman (modeled after his wife) holding an atom was selected in 1948. “The wings represent the muse of art; the atom the electron of science.” The original award, called an “Ike,” was also the nickname of famed WWII General and our soon-to-be president, Dwight David Eisenhower. So the award was renamed “Immy” a nickname for the “image orthicon tube,” then changed to “Emmy” to coincide with the gender of the person holding the atom. (Why not call it Eve holding up Adam?) Emmy is made of copper, nickel, silver and gold (recycled US coins?), must always face to the left, and also has height and weight restrictions; with her base she is taller than “Barbie ™” at 15.5 inches, and weighs 6 pounds 12.5 ounces. However, unlike Barbie ™ who is stamped out by the thousands per day in China, each Emmy takes 5.5 hours to manufacture in Chicago at the same company which makes her sibling “Oscar.”

The entertainment business is not the subject for a discussion of sincerity, but would it not be nice if all of these very fortunate recipients (rich and mostly attractive and enjoying a celebrity evening) could just say “thank you.” Cut out the baloney and the emcee would have time for a song and dance and there could be a few more commercials and the end of the evening would not have to be a downhill race of “…and my manager and my tailor and my hairdresser and my various extended families, and my…”   Just enough. We have been there and it isn’t pretty on the red carpet and damn ugly on stage.

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